We Will Shock You

In the times of the cold November rain this year there were just lightning shocks from the stinking hellhole of the Delhi Vidyut Board. The hostel Union was presented with a deficit notice of Rs.2000/- per head but characteristically ignored it till the DVB proved their seriousness by presenting the same in the first week of January again. Shock waves broke out in the hostel.

Mr. Pankaj (Rats) got psyched. Mr. Mohta (omnipresent step knee) did not know how to react. It was Santosh Bhaiya, our hostel think tank, who saved the day by taking the reins in his hands and forming a ‘DVB Probe Committee’. Things took a strategic twist with the entry of Mr.Nakul (cartoon, or ‘carton’ as Saket would have it) and Mr.Saket (Suckit) in the picture. The committee members with some DUSU men for muscle power went to ITO Shakti Sadan. The congregation was directed to Mr.Thapar at Keshavpuram, who got ‘lattu’ on our leader Nakul (Patiala senti, Jai regionalism). His frequent visits cost him CL classes (which cost him 5000 bucks) leaving him high, dry, and frustrated. Pan**’s suggestion of involving apna Arun (Jet-Li) and gang was rejected by the Committee on the behest of the Principal who feared demand for return favours from (Veejay) Goel, and the committee (assisted by Paltu Jr.) called for a dharna involving the whole hostel including the members of the fairer sex (some of them are actually fair) at Hudson Lines. The dharna was very vocal thanks to Navankur and Kannu and managed to nudge the Karamchari’s out of their seats with Lohia’s threat of self-immolation. The DVB was temporarily brought to its knees till bureaucracy showed it’s true colours as the red tape emerged.

Agitated Santosh Bhaiya issued a fatwa of Dharna at Nehru Place. Arrangements including a bus and promise of lunch (election type promise) were made as a devoted Girl’s hostel decided to join in this bandwagon as well. Anand Mohta (Andy Mathew) persuaded all to go for the dharna and was himself later seen at the PPT of E&Y. He had his Judgment Day though as DVB spies leaked the info of the planned dharna and the Delhi Police (whip you, f*** you always) came warning Mohta of dire consequences in the case of a mishap. He claims he had to deal with a CBI officer as well who had come searching for Nakul (Ed – Perhaps that was my passport verification). As far as the dharna was concerned the hunger strike props were ready in me (Ashwin), Tanay (TC) and Chota Malpani (CMP). The bus journey was equally interesting with RJing by Prasad and Chedi. SRMGH looked the other way and faked deafness though our reputation was again not entirely tarnished as they were fida on Santosh Bhaiya.

Mohta’s total contribution was limited to getting Photostats done, that too with the aid of a fachcha and informing MD at the battlefield that Sec 144 has been applied and there are arrest orders if one moved around in a group of more than four. The Romeos of SRCH hit the jackpot with the wonderful picnic in a cozy bus in the rainy weather with their respective female appendages.

Nakul, Bhaiya and Paltu went inside the office and verbally thrashed the DVB head till they were forced to succumb and the problem was resolved. All the enthusiastic volunteers had to be content shouting slogans. Bravo and kudos to all those who worked selflessly toward the cause.

- Ashwin Jain (with Anand Mohta as stepknee)